Sometimes You Have To Hit Rock Bottom
I was asked to write a PE/Health Curriculum for a new Christian home-school group. I knew it would be a big commitment, but accepted the job. For the next 6 months I was under contract to produce 108 lesson plans, each month, for grades K-5. I accepted the job because I thought, "This is God honoring work, so I should do it."
The pressure to consistently produce this much material effected all parts of my life. When my kids or husband needed something my typical response was, “Not now. Ask me again on April 15th” (that was the deadline of the last lesson plan). I didn’t make time to love and serve others. It effected my health. My quiet time with God was pushed aside and I rationalized it because I was "doing things for God."
I do believe that the lessons plans I wrote will have a positive effect on the kids reading them and I believe God will use those lessons to change lives. But the main reason I am glad I accepted this job is because ......
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO HIT ROCK BOTTOM BEFORE YOU CHANGE
I never want to feel that type of stress and pressure again. In the past I would take on more than I should because I got almost a “high” from running from activity to activity. The fact that I was so busy made me feel needed.
I am now very protective of my schedule. I don’t want to ever be that busy again. I love being able to meet with a friend in need or be able to blog about what I feel God shared with me in my quiet time. I am still super high energy and am not one to sit and watch TV but, thankfully most days I am able to go slow enough to listen for God’s guiding voice.
I love the words from, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World.
“While there are many things that need to be done, things I’m capable of doing and want to do, I am not always the one to do them . . . What’s more, I may be stealing someone else’s blessing when I assume I must do it all.
How I wish I would have learned earlier in ministry to wait upon the Lord. Much of my energy and joy has been swallowed up by jobs and obligations that were not my own. I still tend to rush in, presuming to know His will rather than waiting to hear what He desires.
It is a costly mistake, for often, when the Holy Spirit does ask something of me, I’m either knee deep in another project or too exhausted from my latest exercise in futility to do what God wants of me.”
I am still not one to sit quietly for hours or to move at a slow pace but I no longer believe that busyness is something to strive for. I enjoy the openness of my daily schedule. I don’t put deadlines to my activities unless I feel it is God’s timing.
Ahhhhhh - I’ll never go back to that pace.
Could God be calling you to prepare an exit plan from some of your commitments? Is the pace of life draining you instead of invigorating you. Are there things in your life (like exercise and healthy eating) that are pushed aside even though you desire them. Could this be the rock bottom that inspires you to change and never go back?