Let this sink in
Have you ever read something, that hits you so hard you promise you will not forget the words and allow them to change you? That is exactly when I read this.
"I am growing in the awareness that God wants my whole life, not just part of it. It is not enough to give just so much time and attention to God and keep the rest for myself. It is not enough to pray often and deeply and then move from there to my own projects.
As I try to understand why I am still so restless, anxious, and tense, it occurs to me that I have not yet given everything to God. I especially see this in my greediness for time. I am very concerned to have enough hours to develop my ideas, finish my projects, fulfill my desires. Thus my life is in fact divided into two parts apart for God and a part for myself last divided my life cannot be peaceful.......
I realized that God's love is a jealous love. God wants not just part of me, but all of me. Only when I surrender myself completely to God's parental love, can I expect to be free from and endless distractions, ready to hear the Voice of Love and able to recognize my own unique call. It's going to be a very long road. Every time I pray I feel the struggle. It is the struggle of letting God be the God of my whole being. It is the struggle to trust the true freedom lies hidden in total surrender to God's love." (Henri Nouwen)
As the words of it sunk in I went to God and asked Him for help.
"Dear Heavenly Father, I don't want any part of my life to not include you . I don't want to have quiet time that I walk away from and forget about You the rest of the day. God help me to take your Words in the Bible and put them in my heart. If there is ANYTHING I am doing that is outside your best for me. Stir me, even if it causes initial pain in my life, so that I can become more like You."
If we could only give it all to Him, I mean EVERYTHING we would start to truly experience a bit of heaven on earth.